Goodbye Happiness
by Infinite.Skies
Summary: "Sometimes bad things happen before the good, right?" Yeah, eighteen years of bad, yet where was the good?
1. Chapter 1

**Goodbye Happiness**

**ONE  
**_Namine_

My fondest memory is that of my father reading me those fairy tales. The princess would go through hardships then the prince would save the princess and everything would be okay. My mother had died in an accident when I was young. So I guess that was why my dad and I were pretty close. Always protecting me and giving me the utmost love and care. You could say I was a daddy's girl. And I admit I was. He was the only one I had to look up to. He was my prince charming of the time.

Then when I was five years old, the worst happened. He was instantly taken away from me. Right in front of my eyes, he was killed.

He had just gotten home from a long day of work. He never told me what kind of job he had. Always secretive about it. But whatever it was, it sure caused him a lot of stress and problems. Even having him murdered.

Even though the murderers saw me, they let me go. Considering I've just lost my most important person, I might as well be let off easy. I was just a kid, traumatized to even memorize what they looked like.

But if I had known what today was like, I would have begged them to just kill me.

"Namine!" my aunt's muffled screech hollered. Thank goodness for my room being on the third floor. Well, not a room, technically, an attic.

"Namine! Hurry up and get your lousy ass down here now! Breakfast isn't going to make itself! Not to mention, if you're late for school one more time, I'm doubling up your chores for the week," she hollers again.

It was a big controversy on who got guardianship over me after the funeral of my father. My grandparents wouldn't do it because they were old; they've already had their share of taking care of kids. My parents left no will on who was to get me if this was to ever happen. My mom's side had no other relatives. And the last person they resorted to was Aunt Kari Strife.

She was the elder sister of my dad. When it was confirmed that she was to care for me, she was angry. To her, I was just a burden and another mouth to feed since she had just recently gotten divorced. She had a daughter, Kairi Igarashi, who happens to be my age, to already care for.

"Namine! If I call you one more time, I swear, I'm going to make it where you'll instantly run when I call you!" again my aunt hollers. I groan as I finished putting on my school uniform. Quickly swinging my book bag over my shoulders, I made a run down the three flights of stairs.

The down side of living on the third floor was there were so many stairs.

I ran to the kitchen and instantly threw my bag to the floor.

My aunt was already sitting at the table. She was reading the morning papers. But the look on her face was clearly unhappy. And I already knew that I was the cause of her unhappiness.

"Namine, when I call you, I expect you to come the first time," her voice was full of malice. I tried to look unfazed but when her eyes glance away from the paper and to me, I flinch.

"I-I'm sorry. I was clearly taking too long to get ready for school. I'll try to be quicker next time," I really didn't want to apologize, but it was either this or punishments for back sassing.

She sighs and sets down her paper. Her blue eyes, identical to mines, glared at me.

People more than often mistook me as her daughter. Ew. The thought of her as my mother was really sickening. I didn't like the fact that we looked too similar to one another. We had the same colored pale, blonde hair. Our eyes were even the same shade of ocean blue. Only difference was she was more aged in looks. And her hair was a pixie crop. Mine was slightly below my shoulders.

I guess since I did get all my traits from my dad it was no coincidence that I would also look like her.

"Stop ogling me and go make me some coffee! After that get out of my sight and leave!" she snaps then her attention was back to the newspaper. But before I could walk away, I heard her mutter, "God, how did Cloud and Tifa make such a worthless daughter."

My hands clenches into fists. I was already used to the insults. Or I should be at least.

While I was making the coffee, I heard a pair of feet shuffling into the room.

"Good morning!" a voice chirped.

I turn around to see my cousin smiling happily at me. Her smiles were always so vibrant. She was such a radiant sunshine in the storm.

Unlike her mother, Kairi was actually a friend. After defending me once, she learned the hard way that going on her mother's bad side was not an option. After that, she never tried to defend me ever again. But she never once treated me like her mom. And that's why, I guess, I admired Kairi because she was so nice and kind.

She wasn't only kind, but also, beautiful. Her red hair, which cascaded below her shoulders, she had gotten from her father. Her surname was also her dad's and I bet her personality was also from her father too. I didn't see any of her mom's traits in her except for her eyes which still differed because there were hints of purple within the blues.

If it was a fairy tale, I feel she would be the princess every prince would want to save. Because compared to me, she was more fitting to be the princess.

"Good morning, Kairi," I greet her with a smile of my own.

"Kairi, don't be so loud in the morning. I'm trying to read here," her mom mutters in annoyance.

We both rolled our eyes. Always the kill joy, her mom.

I hurriedly pour the coffee into a mug and set it down on the table.

"I-I hope the coffee is to your liking," I pleaded in my head that it was.

I watch warily as she lifts the coffee to her lips. My eyes widen when I noticed the steam emitting from the mug. Crap!

"W-Wai-," I tried to warn, but too late.

The instant she sipped, her eyes widened. A little bit of coffee spurted from her mouth and a bit spilt onto the table.

"How dare you give me coffee too hot for me to drink, are you trying to burn my tongue?! You probably thought if I burned my tongue bad enough, I wouldn't be able to talk! Right?!" her shouting increased the fright that I felt.

"A-Aunt Kari, it's not like that at all! I-I made a mistake," I tried to plead and explain.

I glance to Kairi, who was startled with fear.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" I immediately turn my head back to her. Just as I did, hot liquid burned my left arm.

"Burns doesn't it? Just like how my tongue burns. You better be grateful that I didn't just pour it all over your head! Get out of my sight, you worthless insolent!"

Without even looking back, I grab my book bag and bolted out of there as fast as my legs could take me.

Anywhere was better than there. And I wasn't going to give her the satisfied feeling of seeing me cry.

Why would God do this to me? Did God hate me? Why couldn't he just let those murders kill me too? Why leave me miserable and lonely? Why take away every single piece of happiness away? Not even bothering to leave me an ounce of happiness.

Finally, when I was a far distance from the house, I dropped on all fours. Letting all the grief I felt out.

My tears continuously fell from my eyes. My sobs were unstoppable. Everything from the heartache I felt; the grief and misery that had been built up in my chest release in the cries.

The ground was blurred by the tears, I clenched my eyes shut, letting the droplets of tears fall. Within my sobs, I managed to gasp out, "I've never wanted anything more, but for you to end my misery. Please, God, please, just end it for me already."

But no, God just hated me because I was already eighteen, and he's never granted me the one thing I wanted most. To be free from the misery he had left me with.

**XxXxX**

**A/N: **Okay, I know, stop making new stories if you're not going to finish your other stories first! Well, I've decided to actually delete them! Whaaaat?! Yeah, I know, upsetting and totally horrible of me to leave a story unfinished! But rest assured, when the time comes when I have time and a new computer, I will maybe rewrite them! But for now, my computer actually broke, and yeah, I just don't have the time to write as freely as I want anymore. But I'll try to update as much as I can with this one, because this story idea has been stuck in my head for like ever! And yeahs, I just felt the need to let it out. And yeahs, tell me what you think of it and if I should continue with it or not. Give me some inspiration, ideas, and tips! "Opinions are always welcomed. They don't hold back the writer, they really just inspire." With that, rock on Fanfic Junkies! Peace~!


	2. Chapter 2

**Goodbye Happiness**

**TWO  
**_Roxas_

Damn, it was a little colder than usual. Leaves were scattered all over the ground. The trees were looking bare. I guess the autumn season has finally made its arrival. Mother Nature was finally relieving her people of the summer rays that burned.

But that wasn't what was causing my bad mood.

My body was exerting more energy than usual. It was screaming for rest. My body was screaming that it was too tired for school. But I knew if I stayed home, I would have just been assigned another mission.

Last night's mission was much harder and longer. Lately, I've been assigned more missions than usual. But that was to be expected, I was already eighteen, and I guess the organization thought I was prepared for it.

But I wasn't prepared for how much I'd be juggling all at once.

I knew that school was an option. I was either able to stay or quit. The organization though, was not an option. Once you're in, you were not to quit.

"Roxas ! Hurry it up! We'll be late with the pace you're going!" I look up at Xion. A girl with jet black, cropped hair was a few feet ahead of me. Her blue eyes were similar to mines. Like the vibrant, blue of the sky.

The light of the sun made her skin seem more radiant. The school uniform she was wearing fitted too well. It showed curves that I wouldn't usually noticed.

Today she wore a light blue blazer over her white collar shirt since it was chillier than usual. She almost never wears it unless it was cold. Only on the first and last day of school would she wear the actual black blazer and the actual blue, plaid tie. But since it wasn't the first or last day, it was always missing from around her neck. Her blue plaid skirt was rolled up so it wouldn't reach her knees. But for precautions she wore mid-thigh leggings underneath. "In case of perverts" she says.

Though to me, she was a bit too punkish and boyish to be even looked at in that kind of way.

"Hey, are you planning on joining any clubs?" Xion asks me when our walking was in synch.

My left brow rose.

"No, and if I was, you know Xemnas wouldn't allow it. He doesn't even like the fact that we go to school; what makes you think he's going to be okay that we'll be spending more time after school?" I know I was a bit blunt. But Xion was going to have to face the truth that we were a part of the organization. There was no free time to do as we pleased.

Basically, our life belonged to the organization.

I was abandoned a bit after I was born. Xemnas had happened to found me before anything major happened. From then on he raised me to become the perfect organization member.

Xion's parents had abandoned her when she was seven. They didn't have the financial needs so they couldn't support her. One night, while she had been sleeping, they had left her at an orphanage. And when she woke up, she found out the news that she had also been abandoned. Devastated by the fact that she was unwanted, she ran away from the orphanage.

I had been out with a few other members to get groceries. We had happened to hear her crying when we were using one of the secret narrow alleys to go back home.

"_No one wants me! My mommy and daddy left me! They didn't want me because they love money more! I thought they love me most! But they don't love me, they left me behind," _her words from then always rung in my ears. I remember the feelings I felt when I met her. I felt a connection because we were the same. We were abandoned. We were unwanted.

"_Then I'll love you! I won't ever leave you! I promise."_

And to this day, a promise that was never broken. Because I promised myself that I would never let her feel abandoned again.

I knew what it was like to feel unwanted and unloved. But I grew up knowing that I always had the security and love of the organization.

Reaching my teen years though, the love started dissolving. It slowly turned to hatred. Both Xion and I weren't allowed to go out whenever we pleased. Instead upon reaching our teen years, we had been forced to start training. We were forced to go on missions.

Xemnas, the superior, wasn't pleased of Xion and I going out freely, especially since the missions could also get us into trouble in the public's eyes. So he stopped us from going out.

The walls of my room used to be the safest haven. But they started to suffocate me.

Always seeing the same people, the confinement from being able to go anywhere, and then you're forced to go on missions? What do you think came next?

I was basically on the brink of losing my mind. The pressure that Xemnas gave me was overwhelming. Not only that, but also constantly reminded that I owe everything to Xemnas because he had taken me in when he could have left me for dead.

And I couldn't really talk to anyone within the organization. Everyone was either older, or was a girl.

The overwhelming anxiousness grew.

One day, I felt myself hanging on a thread.

Axel was the one to find me on the brink of losing my sanity. He was the reason for why I was allowed to go to school. And just in case Xion was to become the same they also had her go too.

"Man, I really don't want to go school," Xion grumbles to herself. I made no comment. But honestly, I was glad for school. It was the only place where I was allowed to do as I pleased without the worries of organization members to fret. A place where I could forget about the evils I've done. Missions weren't the nicest things ever.

But today, I also didn't feel like going to school. My body was exhausted because of the mission lasting longer than it should have. I had only gotten three hours of sleep. Axel had insisted I just skip and sleep in.

I was always quick to reject though. I already knew what bestowed me if I was to actually stay home. Missions, missions, and more missions.

I glance down at Xion. She was a head shorter than me. She had a frown on her face. I couldn't help but smile a bit at how funny she looked. She was obviously upset by the fact that Axel actually made her go to school but offered to let me stay home.

That's where I guess Xion and I differed. She actually loves the organization. I thought I did too, but I've been in it since before I could talk. It almost drove me off the cliff of sanity. Don't get me wrong, I love the organization. They were my friends.

I just hated the evils I've committed.

**XxXxX**

**A/N: **New chapter already!? Don't expect it. Basically my computer broke, so I've using my boyfriend's laptop. I really hope to get a new laptop ASAP. He actually doesn't know I do fanfic… I'm actually embarrassed that he'll laugh at the things I write. So I try to keep it a secret from him. He does know that I like to write. He just doesn't know that write fanfics. But yeahs, this story will actually switch back and forth from Namine's POV then to Roxas's POV. I don't like just sticking with one POV because to me, it gets quite boring just being in one person's head. Especially when I do a girl's POV. Reading boy's POV is actually something I like, because I'm a girl so I know a girl already feels. Knowing how a guy truly thinks I think is a bit more fun. Anyways tell me what you guys think! "Opinions and critique are always appreciated. They don't hold back the writer, because what they really do is help inspire." So yeahs, rock on Fanfic Junkies and see ya next time!

**P.S **OH! I almost forgot! Tumblr people! If any of you guys have one! Please like PM me so we can exchange usernames! Cause I am always looking for new people to follow!


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